Future Tense

I’ve been thinking a lot about how to use the remaining active years of my life to my best advantage.

I figure I have about 5 more years before I land in a deep depression due to the incongruous juxtaposition of my real age and the age my mind actually thinks I am.

Before that happens, I really want to try eventing.

A few facts stand in my way currently:

  • Fact one: I know Joy isn’t the right pony for me to do that on.
  • Fact two: I do not want to purchase another horse until I’ve sold Joy.
  • Fact three: No one wants a sassy, red-headed pony with a club foot and no show record for what I want to sell her for.

My conclusion:

I must actively campaign Joy on the schooling show circuit (and do well) in order to demonstrate her stunning movement and awesome training!!

**Rated shows are so far above my ability to afford that I am going to pretend they don’t exist.**

    • Issue 1:
      • I suck as a rider.
      • I haven’t had a dressage lesson in years
      • I am old and out of shape.
    • Issue 2:
      • Due to ice accumulations, I haven’t been able to ride or work the pony since the beginning of January.
      • Truck is old, rusted, and “iffy”.
      • I haven’t taken Joy off property since 2017.
    • Issue 3:
      • My last dressage show was 2014 and I no longer fit in any of my show clothes.
      • I lack funds to replace show clothes with larger clothes
      • really like to eat.

 

My Conundrum:

  • I need to use the money to take the lessons in order to do well at the shows.
  • If I use the money for the lessons, then I don’t have the money to do the shows.
  • I need the shows to sell the pony.

 

Five years from now, my extension cord collection will reach crisis point. I must act NOW!!

hopesAndDreams

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The Somewhat Disturbing Audience

I hopped on Joy to play with a few of the exercises I had found. She was extremely distracted from the get go, looking for things to spook at, tense, tight, and amped up.

I went through the normal warm-up routine and was getting frustrated that I couldn’t get her attention on me.

As we’re trotting across a short diagonal, I look up and see a doe staring us down from less than 20 meters away.

She was standing in the clearing between the arena and the woods, next to the small drive we use to access the back yard. Just standing there… watching us… seemingly at ease with the situation, with no intention of moving.

I tried to ignore her. I tried to get Joy to focus on me again.

Nope.

Let me tell ya, it’s not easy to ignore a strange animal staring at you. It leaves you a little unsettled.

And Joy wasn’t having any better luck ignoring the doe than I was.

I stopped Joy at the edge of the arena closest to the deer.

Me to the deer: *sigh* “Do you want to learn dressage too?”

Doe: No answer

Me: “I’m looking for a new eventing partner. Do you like to jump?”

Doe: sidles closer to the woods.

Me: “Come on, I bet you’d be a fantastic eventing mount. We could go far!”

Doe: slinks into the woods and hides behind a tree.

Apparently she isn’t keen on eventing.

I really thought that was the end of it. And then I realize the doe is watching us from the treeline. She hung out there the rest of my ride.

I swear to you, it really seemed as if that doe was enjoying watching us.

I’m expecting to go one day and find that doe in my arena practicing dressage moves.

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Top 100 Blogs

My blog got added to the “Top 100 Dressage Blogs…” blah, blah, blah..

Feedspot has this deal where if you’re a Gold member, they list your dressage blog in their Top 100 list. You can’t get listed unless you’re a Gold member.

Gold Membership costs money though.

They won’t tell you their gold membership fee up front though. You have to give them all your info first. Then when you see the fee and go “Oh Hell No!”, they’ll email you directly to convince you to pay. They’re actually quite persistent about you paying them.

At first they’ll offer you one (1) free month.

However, I got sick of the emails, so I replied with “I’m never paying you a dime for a membership”, and they responded by giving me a free Gold Membership.

(I’m not tossing away hard earned cash on a feed aggregator.)

(why can’t people give me cars, or money instead?!)

(I bet my Gold membership gets yanked now.)

With my newly minted “Gold” status, I’m suddenly a Top 100 Dressage Blogs!! Woo! I’m so kewl! 😒

If you’ve read more than one post, you know my content is rather sub par, sporadic, and well, as my mom put it “I read the first line and quit”. 😭

😂😂

[she wasn’t captivated by my laminitis post]

Here the listing: https://blog.feedspot.com/dressage_blogs/

Go get your blog listed for free now too!! …where the fees are made up, and the lists don’t matter!

Unexpected Noises

My embarrassing confession…

Last night I was riding Ava. I find she works best if I keep my upper body absolutely still and balanced over top of her. Which means, I really have to work hard at keeping my core engaged and strong while she launches me through the roof at the trot.

I’m trotting around, really focused on keeping my ab’s and core as tight and stable as possible, my arms loose, my knees off, my aids clear and concise.

I’m focused on keeping those ab’s tight!

Ava’s feeling wonderful with her big, bouncy trot and she’s staying straight and pushing through.

When suddenly…

I farted!

Loudly!

Which scared Ava, who jumped and shot off like a bomb had gone off on her back.

I was laughing so hard I could barely catch my breath.

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All that ab tension just shot the gas right out of me!

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Sometimes it’s good to ride alone. 🙂

 

 

 

Need More Beer

It is bitterly cold. The kind of cold that makes your fingers numb within seconds, the snot freezes instantly in your nose, and the air hurts your lungs to breathe. Touching anything metal without gloves on is a sure fire way to lose some skin.

Everything is a massive undertaking to accomplish. Even just letting the horses out into the main pasture has become a slog.

 

I’m becoming convinced that the only way to handle winter is through inebriation.


 

I’m seeing people post pictures of themselves riding in indoor arenas, wearing their posh riding attire, while riding their perfectly clipped horses…

And then there’s me….

If I go much more redneck with this, I’ll be disbarred from the dressage community entirely.


There’s a facebook group I belong to where real life vet’s answer common people questions about horses. One of the questions was when is it too cold to ride. Vet made it seem like anything above 5 degrees was fine to ride in.

If this is true, this removes my most common excuse not to ride in the winter. Which is good, right? Except, Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I keep trying to convince myself I’m more of a badass because I ride outside all year long, but secretly I really just want to tuck myself into an indoor for the rest of the winter.

frozen