“You’re too Poor to Afford Dressage” Check List

It’s come to my attention that I will never make the kind of money necessary to actually pretend to be a dressage rider, so I’m going to embrace my economically depressed roots!

Here’s a partial check list for how to tell if you’re too poor to be a dressage diva (feel free to add more):

  • Your “extremely expensive” full seat schooling breeches cost less than $80… And you could only afford one pair.
  • Your refer to the holes in your breeches as “ventilation” ports.
  • You know the day will soon arrive when the seat of your breeches bust. Most likely at an expensive clinic that you couldn’t afford, and in front of the extremely rich ladies riding the 50k Warmbloods.
  • You’ve come to grips with the fact that sleeping outside your horses stall at a show is the only affordable option.
  • Your saddle is older than 90% of the people you show against.
  • The fee’s to register both you and your horse for either USEF, or USDF, cost more than one of your mortgage payments.
  • Your trailer was painted with spray cans…. And it looks nicer than it used to.
  • Your only truck is 20 years old, and has bungee cords holding up the gas tank.
  • You are ecstatic when your truck and trailer actually make it to the show.
  • When you park your trailer on the show grounds, people move their trailers to get out of the ghetto.
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2 thoughts on ““You’re too Poor to Afford Dressage” Check List

  1. WOW…
    Yes to ALL the above.. well mostly I think the moving of trailers away from mine hasn’t happened yet… AND I don’t have full seat breeches Nor am I registered with the USDF.. My truck is a 1991 model and my 4th trailer is older than I am, by a decade or more.
    Here is a pic of my 2nd trailer and my truck before the truck’s accident. My hood is now held down by a pair of bungee straps. The tail gate is held on by two more, and it has weeds growing in it.

    My first was a good trailer but it was too short height wise for my horse, so I sold it to a fellow for cattle. As you can see in the pic, that trailer matched my truck.. AND it was painted black and primer grey!! with spray paint.. YAH!
    I stupidly traded it for a big 4 horse that had a bent axle, I thought it was just one tire/rim.. NOPE.. so I gave that to a neighbor for a mobile run in shed for her two halflingers.
    I found my 4th trailer via an ad on our local Craigslist, no pics, but it was cheap and the lady said, well come take a look. so I did….
    I hit a snow bank 2 years ago and had to replace the radiator and bumper, we took the fan shroud off… and the return line to the radiator got sliced by a pulley on the serpentine belt. I drove it that way till last week… I took my truck and trailer down to a friends with my mare in it and we picked her up with her horse and went on a LOOONG trail ride… and people were in shock at my beater truck and trailer. BUT the trailer is in great shape, it has some rust spots that are bubbling up through the paint. It was a state of the art bus.. in the 60’s!!
    I got a “vintage” stubben at our local horse fair for a $115 bucks.. its still more expensive than any show clothes I own.. I did spend a whole 450.00 for my mare, and I had to create my own custom boots. I traded some western saddle fenders for a box of old stuff and in it were three boots, no two alike.. I needed to cut down one to match one of the other ones, AND a zipper put in, since my ankle just will not bend like it used to.. AND an elastic panel due to my ginormous calves. oh yeah.. good times! LOL
    But hey I can afford to go to clinics, and do small shows.. And breathe a sigh of relief my truck made it there!!

    Like

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